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Raising children? Have to deal with someone else's? Considering a family?Let's talk kids!Claudia Quigg hosts this weekly reflection on best practices, experiences, and research related to child rearing and parenting. Thursdays at 12:50 PM and 7:50 PM

Let's Talk Kids - "Teaching Kindness"

Claudia Quigg headshot
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NPR Illinois | 91.9 UIS

More than whatever is happening in the headlines, our days are made (or destroyed) by the kindness (or lack of it) displayed by the people whose orbits we cross personally.

A quick errand provides an example.  On a good day, you pull into a parking lot where another driver waves you into the spot nearest the door and takes a farther spot himself.  As you enter the store, the lady ahead of you holds the door and greets you with a smile.  When you bump into someone in a crowded aisle, you hear a quick apology and a gentle laugh about the narrow passage.

It goes without saying that if those same people had chosen to be rude rather than kind, your outlook would be grim rather than grinning.

It’s a mean season in this world of ours, and we feel frustrated to be unable to change many problems. But we parents can help fix this one.  We can raise kind kids.

Kindness is taught as surely as any other attribute we want to nurture in children.  We teach it by our own example, as we express care for others.  We teach it by our treatment of our kids, parenting them with respect and consideration of their feelings.  And we teach it concretely by helping kids learn to use it specifically in their own lives.

We can support our kids around their opportunities to be kind.  At school, kindness may sound like, “Do you want to sit at my table?” or “I really like your hair.”  It may be as simple as “You always get those math questions right!” to the lonely scholar or “Leave him alone.” to the bully.  It may be slowing down in the hallway to walk with someone who usually walks alone.

We parents want our kids to make honor roll and to master skills on the piano or soccer field.  But those victories ring hollow in folks who haven’t learned to offer kindness to the world around them.

Major world religions and theories of human development affirm this truth: kindness works.  Practicing kindness blesses the world.  If you succeed in helping your children be kind people, they will likely face a benevolent return:  Kind people generally lead happy lives.
 

Claudia Quigg is the Executive Director of Baby TALK and writes the Let's Talk Kids parenting segment and column that honor the expertise parents have about their own children and explores issues that are universal for families. From toilet training and sibling rivalry to establishing family values, Claudia Quigg provides thoughtful and accessible insights that are meaningful to families' needs.
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