She grew up the most feminine of little ladies, preferring tea parties to softball, keeping her ruffled dresses pristine even during school recess. I recently ran into this woman and seeing her took me aback. Her hair up in a ponytail, she was wearing jeans and a hockey jersey.
It seems she’s the mom of three boys, ages 11, 13 and 15, all serious ice hockey players. They share a passion for this sport that has their mom shivering on the ice in some cold arena three evenings each week and every weekend for much of the year.
I reminded her of the contrast to her own childhood, and she agreed that when she was growing up she wouldn’t have had any interest in ice hockey at all. Then one day her husband, a former ice hockey standout himself, took their four-year-old son to the rink. Dad strapped some tiny skates on this little guy and put a miniature hockey stick in his hands.
She says she’ll never forget his look of sheer joy as his dad began to guide his tiny chopping steps on the ice, swinging the stick idly by his side. His two-year-old brother cheered him on from the sidelines, eager for the day those skates would fit his own feet. From that moment she began to share his passion for this sport she would never have chosen herself.
Parents are fully formed adults who allow themselves to be remade in response to their children’s needs. This delicate mom found a capacity for a rough and tumble hobby with her kids. A dad I know with no musical background whatsoever is learning Suzuki violin along with his enthusiastic daughter, bowing Mississippi Hotdog tremulously on an E String.
The investment moms and dads make in their children leads them to pursue new interests that light flames in their kids’ hearts. And that is one of the things I love about parents: this magnanimous willingness to follow gladly wherever their children might choose to take them.
Bless their hearts. Parents are willing to become novices again and again on their journeys with their sons and daughters. And in so doing, they discover new capacities of their own along the way.
