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Raising children? Have to deal with someone else's? Considering a family?Let's talk kids!Claudia Quigg hosts this weekly reflection on best practices, experiences, and research related to child rearing and parenting. Thursdays at 12:50 PM and 7:50 PM

Let's Talk Kids - "Just Ask"

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Claudia Quigg

The London Daily Telegraph reported research about kids asking questions.  One study showed preschoolers ask the most questions, with four-year-old girls weighing in with an astonishing 390 questions per day.

Most of these endless queries are of the “why?” and “what if?” variety.  Kids want to know why water is wet and why dogs bark.  They wonder what would happen if they decided to not go to sleep at night or if they tried to leap from the top of their dresser (ouch).

Mealtimes provide the richest venue, with preschoolers averaging eleven questions during even a short meal.  Other high-question occasions are trips to stores and reading bed-time stories.

Psychologist Alison Gopnik says young children are “the research and development division of the human species,” investigating every new experience with a curious fervor. They have a lot to learn and they’ve figured out asking is a good way to learn it.  

Contrast preschoolers with middle-schoolers, who basically stop asking questions. A Newsweek article “The Creativity Crisis,” posed the question:  Do kids stop asking questions because they’ve lost interest?  Or have they lost interest because schools reward correct answers rather than intriguing questions?

By adulthood, many of us lose our curiosity, instead adopting the appearance of already knowing everything of any importance.  Adults ask an average of only six questions each day.  It’s as if we feel we can’t afford the vulnerability of appearing to not know.

Entrepreneur Jim Collins says early in his career, his mentor pointed out he spent “too much time trying to be interesting” and suggested he invest more time “being interested.”  This painful criticism freed Collins to be more curious.  He discovered he enjoyed learning about people, listening for their story.  He found he grew “smarter” by not trying to prove he already was.

NPR interviewer Terry Gross has also based her career on childlike wondering. She says, “I’ve always been really curious about things and slightly confused by the world, and I think someone who feels that way is in a good position to be the one asking questions.”

This attitude of curiosity in several people I admire inspires me to ask more questions.  I hope to not become as exhausting as a preschooler, but I would surely like to recapture that sense of wonder.
 

Claudia Quigg is the Executive Director of Baby TALK and writes the Let's Talk Kids parenting segment and column that honor the expertise parents have about their own children and explores issues that are universal for families. From toilet training and sibling rivalry to establishing family values, Claudia Quigg provides thoughtful and accessible insights that are meaningful to families' needs.
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