Recently, actor Ben Affleck spoke with The Associated Press and revealed the title of the solo Batman film he's slated to direct.
Ready?
The Batman, he said.
Perhaps sensing that this announcement would be greeted with the collective cricket-chirping shrug it has been, he immediately built himself a verbal escape clause: "At least, that's what we're going with now."
There's plenty of time to change it; there's still not a finished script. And Warner Bros. suits will likely quibble with Affleck's choice of title, worried that simply slapping a definite article before the hero's name might not be enough to distinguish it from Tim Burton's 1989 Batman. (Or, for that matter, 1966's Batman: The Movie.)
Generally, studios like to insert active verbs (Returns, Begins, Rises, Pouts) or adjectives (Incredible, Amazing) to their superhero franchises to keep things clear.
Plus, there's the simple fact that it's hella boring, and that it doesn't truly reflect the feel of the the DC/Warner Bros. cinematic universe established to date.
Which is why we're only too happy to help. Here are 27 carefully considered, thoughtfully curated title suggestions that advance the existing Bat-franchise while maintaining brand identity:
1. Batman: 2 Furious 2 Furious He Should Really Do Something About How Furious He Is
2. Batman: Electric Boo-Hoo-Hoo
3. Batman: Je Suis Désolé
4. Batman: Yep Parents Still Dead FYI
5. Batman: Sulky City
6: Batman: Puttin' the Goth in Gotham
7. Batman: This City Needs Him. Because Crime. And Justice. Also Hope.
8: Batman: This Time He Kills Guys! Badass!
9. Batman: Shut Up, And Leave Me Alone
10. Batman: Hatful of Hollow
11. Batman: Kill Uncle
12. Batman: Gotham Just Don't Understand
13. Batman: Back to the Man Cave
14. Batman: The Dark Knight Grouses
15. Batman: Biff! Bam! Pow! Serotonin Reuptake!
16. Batman: The Squeakquel
17. Batman: Live Free Or Cry Hard
18. Batman: Prig in the City
19. Batman: Back 2 tha Hood, Where The Hood In Question Is Crime Alley, Where His Parents Were Killed
20. Batman: First Blood, Followed By Painful Bruising
21. Batman: The Killing, But Not Remotely Funny Because This Is Serious Here Guys Quit Laughing You Guys Quit It, Joke
22. Batman: Again, Please Take This Seriously
23. Batman: Brood Awakening
24. Batman: I Just Checked Again and Yeah Parents Still Dead
25. Batman: Gotham Guardian: The Owls of Ga'Hoole
26. Batman: His Finest Glower
27. Batman: The Caped Crusader But Only You Know Not Gay Or Nothin
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